The 5 Weirdest Florida Crimes. The Results May Shock You!

Sorry was in the Dhar Man mood there. But on a semi-serious note, I’ve always had a “love-hate-I-don’t-know-what-we-are-and-I-don’t-want-to-find-out” relationship with the state of Florida. Have I ever visited the damn state? No, and I don’t plan on it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not privy to its infamous eccentrics.

While I have no plans on ever visiting the damn place, although I was close to doing so once over a decade ago, I admire and respect how they are aware of how weird they are, for the most part. Because there’s no denying it, Florida is essentially its weird reality show that the remaining forty-nine states are blessed not to have to participate.

Rambling aside, I decided to take things lightheartedly for today and found the five weirdest crimes in Florida. I had always been aware of one of them, so I thought this be the perfect time to finally talk about it because it’s one of my favorites, but it also includes four that I randomly found through various Google searches.

So, let’s all take a deep breath and get right into it, shall we?

Butts are the new wallet holders. Well, it was for 26-year-old Pattreon Stokes. Only for speeding was why he was pulled over one August morning, but then it progressed into something more. Police smelled marijuana, but things escalated when they searched Stokes’ vehicle. Methamphetamine, rock cocaine, and heroin were found along with a scale. Money was found among this, and a 7-month-old baby witnessed all of this in the vehicle’s front seat. So we can add Father of the Year to his resume.

Police arrested the man, but the money mysteriously disappeared when they brought him to the county jail. Until it wasn’t. Falling out of the clenches of his buttocks was a little over $1,000 falling out. But never fret. Despite the nature of the crime, it seemed like the police had a sense of humor about the entire thing as Stokes was being charged. I don’t blame them because who would want to be the butt of a joke?

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