Reflections

2017 was the year that I got into my dream school. 2017 was also the year that I suffered burnout at my dream school. Jokes aside, while 2016 was the year where all of my hard work and accomplishments culminated into my acceptance into an Ivy League school, 2017 was the time for growth, prioritization, and reflection. I came into 2017 thinking that I knew the labyrinth of the world (although in the back of my mind, I clearly knew I didn’t), and, of course, I proved my subconscious to be right. I was naive and extremely idealistic, blinded by unrealistic expectations of other people and personal goals.

Before 2017, I put academics and goals before anything and anyone else — I was a late bloomer in terms of finding leisure time and reflecting on my values (!) I’ve claimed to have “known who I was,” but little did I realize that I viewed myself not through my own lens but through others’ perceptions of me. I was confident, visionary, and social, only because others perceived me as these traits. Coming into college, I realized that these traits weren’t my own: the Imposter Syndrome bred crippling self-esteem, I did not know whether or not I truly want to pursue medicine, and my energy dissipates around other people. However, as one of the first steps to self-reflection, I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me in 2017.

Now onward, to 2018:

External Goals

Internal Goals

And finally, to build my spiritual relationship with Christ. I admit, this will be my most difficult goal yet. Since college, I’ve lost sight of Him; I’ve been going to church less, reflecting His love for us less, and His Word less. This year (and the many to come!), I want to reestablish my connection with my faith without treating it as an obligation. I want to own my Christian faith rather than treating it as an inheritance it from my parents. I want to regain the hope that I’ve lost, look at every blunder as part of His grander plan for me, and share His love for the world without shame.

With that note, I hope that this year will bring more experiences, more lessons, and more failures. My personal theme for this year will be self-love and reflection: love myself, love others, and love every nook and cranny the world has to offer. Without further ado, here’s to a fruitful 2018.

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